Saturday, May 13, 2006

256. My Own Mata Hari

Last night I saw you
clearly, for the first time,
with all your untruths exposed,
with all the explanations
swept away, with all the lies
stripped down. For a year
you have been using me,
pretending to love me,
pretending to be cheating
on your dimwit husband
who now turns out
not to be your husband at all,
instead, your political
controller.

Now you say
your child is in danger
(which I believe)
and you beg me, tearfully,
to help you
because
I am the "only friend"
you have
in spite of all the lies,
in spite of all the deception,
not to mention
the fake orgasms.

And I think
it is on this latter ground
that my equivocal heart
closes down on you.
You can lie.
You can lie.
But how could you lie about that?

Women do this all the time,
you say. Maybe so.
But you?

-----------------------

Ich weiss nicht was
Ich werden will ....
People want love
Instead they kill.